Can a divorce ever really be amicable?

shaking_handsCan a divorce ever really be amicable? It is sometimes refreshing to think that every so often you may encounter those clients that have decided to talk to their ex-partners, to sit down and work out what is fair and agree with each other. It is nice to think that there won’t be the arguments over who takes the children to their piano lessons or more trivially who gets to keep the vase they bought on holiday in Rome, that neither party wants but neither party wants the other to have.

In 2011 the rate of divorce rose to 11.1 divorcing people per thousand in the married population. In 2010 in England and Wales 119,589 people got divorced. With such high statistics is it possible in this day and age to have an uncontested and amicable divorce? With the withdrawal of legal aid it is possible to argue that more and more clients will be tempted in to settling without the need to involve solicitors or at least agreeing earlier in order to avoid the increasing fees. However, is this always the best route?

Arguably one has to be more careful when faced with an uncontested and amicable divorce than a divorce in which each party is fighting tooth and nail for every single asset. The issue with amicable divorces is that it is all well and good now but what about 3 months, a year, 4 years down the line when circumstances change and clients realise what they agreed to may not have been the best idea. Whilst it is refreshing to think that the parties could sort out their differences in a fair manner, possibly without the need for lawyers, we have to be careful of such a laid back approach.

On regular occasion I have come away from a discussion with a friend or relative and remembered something I had forgotten to ask or tell them and it is no different here. Parties often don’t think of every eventuality. They are often thinking about now and getting it all over and done with in the nicest, quickest and cheapest way possible, which is not wrong but you are at a risk of bypassing a huge aspect that further down the line may become a big issue.

I am not saying that it isn’t possible to remain friends with an ex-partner following divorce, however difficult this may be as the divorce proceedings progress. But that it is sometimes more difficult to deal with an amicable divorce where everyone has agreed because further down the line they may not be so happy with their decisions.

On another note I came back from my lunch break to find a Thank You care sat on my desk. The work experience girl, Hayley, that visited a couple of weeks ago had dropped it by and specifically mentioned me and a colleague. It’s the small things that sometimes make your day.

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